December202011

Nitpicking: Disney’s Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief Pt. 2

Norse:  Now their next destination is the Parthenon in Tennessee, which is rather… amusing. 

El:  And where do we find the pearl in this location?  On Athena’s… tiara.  Headgear. Thing.  SOOOO… either Persephone is reaaaally into rockhard women… or she’s into Hydras… yeah.  Yeeeeah.  Statues or Serpent-things.  Yeeeeah.  I really don’t wanna know about any more of her sexual escapades.

Norse:  Wait… apparently the Hydra can disguise itself as five janitors… and can separate its body…?  And wait… why does it start out with five heads?  Okay… well, Hydras normally started out with one head.  Because the trick was to try and chop off its head, so it would grow more.  Because, I dunno, everyone goes to chop off heads. 

El: And again… I am slightly less certain on this one, but still PRETTY certain… THE hydra.  Not a.  Not Hydra.  THE HYDRA.  There was only one, and Hercules killed it.  «  Monster respawn, woo!

Norse & El:  IT DOESN’T BREATHE FIRE.  IT NEVER BREATHED FIRE.  IT JUST GREW A LOT OF HEADS. 

El:  Stop it Percy.  No, seriously, stop it Percy.  STOP IT PERCY.  STOP CUTTING OFF THEIR HEADS, PERCY.  EVEN ANNABETH IS TELLING YOU TO STOP, PERCY.  Ooookaaay.  So, apparently… Percy Jackson knows about Medusa and being able to look at her through reflective surfaces, but not the Hydra.  One is actually a Greek Myth.  And one is a Greek Myth popularized by a DISNEY movie.  That would’ve been right around the time he was born.  Which one does he know about?  The more obscure one.  Yeeeeaaaah….

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12PM

Nitpicking: Disney’s Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief Pt. 1

Norse:  I actually saw this in the movie theaters.  I probably would’ve enjoyed it more if it hadn’t ruined a lot of the Greek mythology.

El:  I, uh, didn’t see it.  At all.  Well, that’s a lie.  I caught bits and pieces of it here and there on HBO.  So we decided to watch it together, and nitpick it into submission.

Norse:  We see Poseidon come up out of the body of water, in his godly form.  Why the hell didn’t he shrink down in the first place?  I mean, the water effect when he shrinks down as he walks past is cool, but why not shrink down in the first place?  He couldn’t teleport to Olympus?  ‘Cause teleportation seems to be in abundance among the gods.  Zeus does it to retrieve a character later in the movie, and Persephone has pearls readily available, that can take the user anywhere.  It seems to be an overly convenient option available to the Gods, so why don’t they just use it?

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